So I know I am supposed to read my Bible and pray every day. And I mean to, I really do. But somehow, I don’t.
I end up going to church and Bible study like four or five times a week. I listen to Christian music in my car. I pray sporadically when I think about it, and I read about Christianity and theology and such online. Shouldn’t all that be enough? Does God really want even more of my time?
Yes and no. God wants me, not necessarily my time spent doing things about him. He wants to talk to me and he wants me to talk to him. Because God desires relationship. And God works in us through relationship. This means I need to be talking to him and listening to him and devoting time to spend with him. So yes, he wants my time. But not if it’s not focused and purposeful.
And yes, God talks to me through music on the radio, and as I learn more about him, I can’t help but feel closer. And coming together with a community of believers, whether I am serving or attending, puts me in God-designed fellowship and relationship with other believers. The more I’ve learned in all that blog-reading, the more I’ve realized the importance of being in community and surrounded by other believers.
But I also need to be alone with God. I am more introvert than extrovert actually.
And I’m coming back to reading the Bible.
I’m setting aside all my questions about feminism and Christianity, about Biblical interpretation and translation, and about the Biblical way to do church and faith and life with God, all the questions that cropped up when I began to look into why I believe what I do.
Instead, I am just reading.
I’m not deconstructing or structuralizing or any of the fancy lit crit things I’ve learned in Grad school.
I am soaking in the words about the Word.
And I can feel something changing. I’m not sure what it is yet. I feel softer, more teachable. I feel more in tune with God’s heart, and I’m frankly amused by some of what I’ve missed before with my reading-for-instructions or critical-reading methods. Like when Paul tells Timothy to drink some wine for his tummy aches (vs 23). And sends greetings from real people who knew Timothy and Paul and sent their love. I am seeing the real people behind the Holy Text, and it’s that much more profound.
I quite like reading my Bible. I think I am going to make this a habit.