I’ve been seeing all these cute blog posts about “Date a girl who…” or “Don’t date a girl who…” essentially encouraging guys to look for girls who are involved in these activities and careers because the girl will then have certain personality traits and ways of viewing the world.
Don’t date a girl who reads (because she expects more out of life). Don’t date a girl who teaches (but really do, because she is awesome). Date a girl who runs (life won’t pass her by). Date a girls who travels (who doesn’t love to travel??). Date a girl who bakes (who cares about fitness when there are cupcakes?). The list goes on. Seriously. Just Google.
But as much as I love to read and write; although I bake and I run; for goodness sake, I am a teacher. And who doesn’t like to travel? …. As much as I am so many of these date-worthy girls, I can’t reconcile myself to this relatively new trope. Because my identity is more than my love of books, stories, and the written word. I matter more than my baking, my running, my traveling, even more than my teaching. Because I am a child of God. I am a co-heir with Christ. My identity, my core, my being comes from this relationship, not my relationship to books or food or even my dating relationship.
I also take umbrage at the trope being date a girl. Dating girls is well and good for boys, but I am a woman and I want to be dated by a man. A man who is responsible and kind, who is seeking God’s will for his life, who loves deeply and selflessly. A man after God’s own heart. Just as I am striving to be a woman after God’s own heart. A woman who is kind and compassionate, who is responsible and practices good stewardship, a woman who loves passionately and freely. There are so many more words to describe a godly man or godly woman, and this post is not about looking such a person, but for goodness’ sake, search out someone who follows God sincerely.
So don’t just date a girl because she travels, read, writes, bakes, or participates in any other activities. And don’t date a girl if you are a man. Date a woman. Date a woman who loves the Lord. Date a woman with intelligence and humor, who has cool interests and hobbies that line up somewhere with yours. Date a woman who loves God more than she loves anything else, and whose love for God spills over as love for everyone in her life.
When the time is right, stop dating this woman of God and marry her. Set up a home together and practice hospitality, humility, and love. Always love.
Because when this life is over, God is not going to care what your hobbies were and if you had a cool girlfriend, and while memories last a lifetime, we don’t know how long they last after that. God cares how you loved. How you spread his love and his message. So store up for yourself treasures in heaven by dating a woman who loves and loving her. Store up treasures by using your life to love God and love others.